Procrastination

I guess I've been procrastinating blogging 'for real'... I've only been using my phone for 'short summaries of life's happenings'.

Ken is doing well, he received the final portion of 'part A' of his chemo, and will be starting 'part B' next.  Then it'll be a matter of 'lather, rinse, repeat' for 3 more cycles.

Then, he'll be done.

I can't wait.

My Mom went home today.  But before she did, we took the boys to the park.  I was kind of hoping their brother would show up to visit and play, but no such luck.  Apparently there won't be any such luck until Ken is home.

I feel lonely tonight.  The boys are sleeping, and I'm tired too, but there's still so much to do.  My brain is going a million miles a minute.  I have paperwork to find, tidying to do... it never ends.  I can easily fill my time, but it doesn't help with the loneliness.

I want my husband here.

Even when I was in Vancouver, it wasn't the same... I had to be wearing a gown and gloves when with Ken - no skin to skin contact.  No kisses.  I hate it.  The two nights I slept in the hospital room with Ken, it was still fully gowned and gloved.

11 more weeks...

I am Skyping with Ken multiple times each day.  Hearing his voice and seeing his face are wonderful things (he is getting so shaggy right now!)...

But it still isn't the same.

Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful.  I've been told that my wonderful husband will be coming home, that he will be cured.  Not everyone fighting this battle can say that, and my heart breaks every time I hear about someone else who is fighting, and losing.

It's not fair.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

This is one battle I never though we'd be fighting, not this soon...

PS - My dear Ezza, don't play coy in regards to Ken's condition; you've known for over a week.  I received condolences from a member of your family.  Thanks for stopping by.