Saturday, November 3, 2012

The light at the end of the tunnel...

It's so close I can almost see it.

Almost taste it.

Ken finished his consolidation chemo today.  He has three more shots of chemo into his spine, which need to be spaced several days (to possibly a week) apart.

He is in rough shape.  Consolidation chemo is the highest, strongest dose that they give.  It's the 'last hurrah', designed to make sure not one. little. cancerous. cell. is left behind.

Here's to hoping.

I have a confession to make.  And it makes me feel like an absolute ass, because Ken is all alone, and fighting this disease so hard.

I'm lonely.  And overwhelmed.  And depressed.

I've reached my limit, reduced to tears several times over the past week.  I don't know how much more of this I can take.

The babies are sick.  Again.

I love being a Mom.  But I HATE being a single Mom.  Hate it.

I feel like a failure because I'm having such a difficult time.  I should be stronger than this.  After all, Ken is the one who is struggling, suffering through brutal treatments that cause him so much pain and make him so sick.  He hasn't seen his family in over 2 months.

And here I am feeling sorry for myself.

I just want my husband home.  But I want him home cured.

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